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Thursday, September 2, 2010

My kids are growing but I'm not sad

It doesn't bother me that my kids are growing up.  Seriously, I don't get weepy about it at all.  I don't wish they would stay babies all of their lives or stop getting older.  I enjoy watching them grow and learn every day.  Yes, it happens quickly.  Sometimes we don't even notice it.  But I don't feel sad.

Monday was J's first day of junior high school.  There was a lot of "newness" for him.  It's a school outside of our local school board, so we have to take him to a common drop-off area where a chartered bus takes him to school.  He is in a special sports program (in the baseball discipline) that we are all very excited about.  Also, the school is French.  All French.  J did take French Immersion all through elementary school and his dad (and that whole side of the family) is French.  But J is definitely more English.  He was nervous about it.  I was nervous for him!  But he knows quite a few kids through school and baseball that are also enrolled in this program so it helped to know that he would have friends there.  We also knew that this would really improve his French skills, which is so important in the area where we live.  Anyway, he started on Monday and he really enjoyed it.  I wasn't sad on Monday morning before he left.  I was anxious, I couldn't (and still can't) believe that my little boy was already starting grade seven, but I was happy and excited.  I feel proud of what he's accomplished and what Hubby and I have accomplished in raising him.  Am I worried about the teen years and what is in store for us?  Yes.  Do I wish I could go back to him being an innocent little boy?  Not so much.

Miss M started kindergarten today!  She was so excited.  She was ready 30 minutes before the bus was due to come, but demanded that we wait for the bus right away.  She didn't want to miss it.  We waited (forever) and we took lots of pictures.  The bus came and she looked a little nervous but she climbed those big stairs and took her seat.  I smiled.  No tears, just pride.  My big girl was going to school and she was ready.  I know that she will do just fine and I can't wait to hear all about it when I pick her up after work.

I actually felt much more sad and weepy two days ago on her last day of daycare.  She had been at that daycare since it opened when she was only 18 months old!  I felt very emotional when I picked her up, and couldn't even speak to the educators besides a quick "Bye! Thanks!" because I would have broken down.  I didn't want Miss M to see me upset because she was happy and excited, knowing she was only two short days away from going to real school!  Everyone there just loved Miss M and they took really great care of her.  It was sad knowing that we'll probably never be back again.

Sometimes when I'm reading other blogs or status updates on Facebook, I think maybe I don't care enough.  Maybe I should be crying, feeling sad that my babies aren't babies anymore.  But I think (hope) that it is just because I know they are ready for the challenges that lie ahead and so it doesn't make me worry (as much).  Also if they were sad or didn't want to go, it would probably make things harder but they were both very excited and looking forward to their new respective schools. 

Am I weird?  Am I the only one who felt happy instead of sad as I saw my kids off to school this week?  Because really, I feel like an oddball.  Maybe even like a bad parent.  But I know that's not true, so what is it?    


  1. I don't think it's weird at all :) I think it's healthy!

  2. Thanks, Corinne. I guess since I don't get emotional about certain things that many moms do, I wonder if I come across as uncaring seem like I don't love my kids as much. In reality, I know that is not true and it is extememly unlikely that anyone would think that, but it's just a feeling/worry I get sometimes!

  3. When you know they are ready, so you let them fly. I am whistful about the baby she was, but seeing her walk through those doors to kindergarten makes me so proud of the girl she is. I think your response is very healthy!

  4. Shannon,

    I feel the same way. Granted, my kids are still babies, but when I see them growing it makes me excited, not sad. I am hoping that because I enjoy each and every stage, rather than wishing certain ones away (except for colic), it is making the transitions easier.

    I also expect to feel this way as they enter into the double digits. The teenage years, though filled with angst for both kids and parents, are wonderful. I don't dread them; rather, I feel they will reinforce my desire to teach my kids good values from a young age.

    Hooray for getting older!

    : )

  5. I am one of the moms who gets weepy. But honestly, I have always been the sort of person who gets weepy at Every. Little. Thing. Motherhood just kicked it up a notch.

    I wouldn't say that I'm wistful or sad because I think my kids aren't ready. On the contrary, they're far more ready than I am, and that's where the sadness comes in. Because I know that every time they take a step forward, they're leaving something behind. Like with M's daycare - they will never be that baby anymore. And I loved that baby a whole lot, so I feel a loss over that.

    I wouldn't say that either way is right, or a sign of anything other than differing personality types. Some people are more prone to wistfulness than others. That's all. :)

  6. I feel the same way about my baby, even knowing that he's my last. I'm so excited with each new milestone as I watch him hold his head up strong, discover his hands and feet, figure out how to self-soothe. No sadness here, just happiness ... and the hope of once again getting a good night's sleep!

  7. You aren't weird. I don't cry about these things or wish to stop time. I love seeing my kids blossom and head into the world. Each step is a sign that I've done something right, and that they'll be okay.

    I do get anxious about things going okay, though. After day 1 that normally subsides and I'm just happy to see them happy.