Every once in a while when someone makes a funny comment, when something strange happens, or when I get upset about something, I wonder if my children will remember that exact moment when they are older.
At age four, I clearly remember the apartment we lived in. I remember watching the children's show Romper Room and waiting for the host to say my name at the end. I remember lying on the coffee table, eating a carrot and almost choking. I remember my mother's look of panic. I spit it out in her hand.
When I was five, I remember the dress I wore on the first day of school. I remember the lyrics to songs we learned in music class. I remember getting lost and feeling scared in a shopping mall. I remember stealing money from my mom's spare change jar, and I remember getting caught, too. She told me that my father was going to give me The Belt when he got home. He didn't. I guess she was trying to instill some fear so it wouldn't happen again. It worked.
There are many little moments from my childhood that live in my memory. Some blurry, some very vivid. Each has a special place in my mind and they bring me back to simpler times.
When Miss M has a special day, I look at her and wonder if she will remember it when she gets older. When we've had a bad day, I wonder if she will remember how I lost my patience. I hope she recalls more of the good days.
J is 12 now, and I know he will remember virtually everything from these years as he grows up. It still surprises me when he remembers a particular moment from years ago; something that I didn't think twice about at the time. It also surprises me when I reminisce about times when he was little and he doesn't remember. It makes me sad sometimes, too.
The mind is a strange and wonderful thing. It holds on to memories that might not seem significant to us, but it's those memories that shape us into the people we are. The adults we become. Some memories I wish would last forever. Others I wish would never come back. I can't choose which moments my children will keep photographed in their minds, but I hope they have happy, loving, lasting childhood memories like mine.
What are some of your earliest memories?
My earliest memory is from when I was still in a highchair. I was eating Froot Loops and one fell on the floor. My brother was on a gluten-free diet and dove for it. I screamed for my mom 'cause I thought if he ate it, he'd die. Such a random thing to remember...
ReplyDeleteI won't say what my first and earliest memory is. It's not a pleasant one. But I will say it's interesting how we capture it all isn't it? It's like a series of pictures in our minds isn't it? Not fluid like a video. At least not for me. Maybe I'm not good with the whole memory thing. I think that's why I scrapbook for my boys. So that they have the photos and the story to go along with it. I would have loved that.
ReplyDeleteMan...my childhood is such a blur for me. There are random things, but I dont' remember much until after the age of 11 or so. The mind really is strange. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, something completely random will pop up. But you're right...I think it's some of those odd seemingly insignificant ones that really shape us.
ReplyDeleteIt's all such a blur, looking back. With snippets of mostly good and sometimes bad... and it is so scary to know that my oldest is reaching the point where he'll remember. It freaks me out, honestly. Not that I didn't care what happened before... but it makes me think more, makes me want to be so much better for him.
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteYes - it's funny how we remember little things from childhood that we thought were BIG things at the time. We can look back and truly see our own innocence.
I remember thinking that my dad and I had been in a car accident, when really my dad had avoided something that *could* have been an accident. I guess the brakes slamming was enough to scare the heck out of me!
Christine, I know your early memories are not happy ones and I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you did.
ReplyDeleteYes, they are like flickers in our mind - no fluidity at all. I think scrapbooking for the boys is great. When I was young my mom took a lot of pictures. She has stacks of albums. Now Miss M loves to look at them. And I do too.
Alisha - yes, the shower is where I do a lot of thinking and I often think back to strange little tidbits of my past. It really is amazing.
ReplyDeleteCorinne - I know! It totally freaks me out to know that my son will remember everything from now on... And how much will my daughter remember? It makes me want to be better, too.
Most of my memories from my childhood are fuzzy. A scene or two from preschool, pretending to run away with my older brother. I hope my kids' are more vivid, but my oldest is already asking questions about what he's done in the past.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I think of my earliest memory, I think of sitting under a huge oak in our yard and looking up. A few years ago, I found a photo of that very image, and now I wonder...do I actually remember that, or had I seen the photo in the past and was remembering THAT? I don't know!
ReplyDeleteI'm luck to have happy, clear memories that aren't overshadowed by the sad or scary ones. They seem simple and insignificant, but you're right - they're powerful, meaningful, stirring, enlightening.
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ReplyDeleteIt's funny the things we remember, the things we choose to forget. But I'm with you, I'm praying my children remember more of the good rather than the off-day that I lost my temper.
ReplyDeleteMy earliest memories are playing with my sisters. Barbies, dolls, trampolines, and so many other things. Our imaginations were overly abundant.
ReplyDeleteI remember random things about my childhood. Watching movies in the living room with my parents and sisters and for some reason, I recall my parents taking me to easter egg hunts. Of course, I also remember my parents consoling me when a friend hurt my feelings or when I got a bad grade. There was an abundance of love and ice cream growing up.
ReplyDeleteWell, I typed a long-winded response to three of you and ended up deleting it when I only wanted to edit it. Poo.
ReplyDeleteSo now I'll just say this to everyone. It sounds like most of us have had the same selective, snapshot memories of our childhood - mostly good ones. I guess that's all I can hope for my own kids... That they'll make their own memories and each one might be random/silly/happy, but they will still mean something to them in their own way.
I think mine might be eating cupcakes with my grandfather. I was an icing fiend, even at age 3! And strange thing is, I'm pretty sure the memory I have must be an amalgamation of several cupcake-eating adventures, as the details are so crystal clear yet could not have happened all at the same time. Memory is a lovely and funny, if sometimes faulty, thing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI wonder a lot of the same things, especially what memories my daughters will create out of our days. What will stick and what will be forgotten, and what will be something they'll find hilarious and tease me for for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI wonder (and sometimes worry) about what my children will remember. I don't think that I've given them a host of bad memories or anything, but I worry that they will only remember my failings (since I tend to do that to myself).
ReplyDelete(Of course I also hate worrying about things that I have no control over. What a waste of time.)
It's funny, I have snapshots of places and times from as early as 18 months, but I some are misremembered - though I did fly over the middle seat in my parent's VW bus, I remember it in the wrong town.
ReplyDeleteI'm here via momalom.
ReplyDeleteMy earliest memories are of playing in our laundry room while my mother sewed. My handsome uncle would take us all for drives in his convertible and pretend we were driving back in the days of no seatbelts, all of us piled in the car. It's a wonder no one was killed!
My earliest memory is with my youngest sister. She is 3 years younger than for. For whatever reason, when she was learning to talk, I was the only one who could understand her. I always felt so special because of that. Still do.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw your question at the end of this post, I thought "well of course my earliest memories are about my dad." Because my dad died about four years ago now. But the funny thing is I think as adults we create what our earliest memories are from what we want them to be. I have no idea what my earliest memory actually is. I have no idea if my dad is in it. But I hope he is, since of course he shaped so much of my young life. And yet when I read your question my mind immediately went to him. Memory is tricky like that, blurring the line so often between what we remember and what we want to remember. But that's kind of what's amazing about memory too, isn't it? That my earliest memory might actually be of watching Sesame Street, but what comes to mind now is my dad walking me to Kindergarten every day. Memory's kind of our greatest ally in that way...
ReplyDeleteOh there are so many things I remember that are so random - nothing special type stuff yet they stick out in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. It's interesting why they're the ones that made it while you strain hard to remember a birthday, a name or an occasion that you keep reaching out to yet you just can't seem to recall. Memory is funny like that.
ReplyDeleteI have really no memory from before age 5 or so, and it's spotty after that. However, my son can remember details about our life from as far back as age 2. I often tell him how in awe of him I am for that. And I urge him to remember so he can remind me when I'm old and feeble. ;)
ReplyDeleteI am definitely always wondering how they will remember something, will it be the same way, what spin will their memory take? I guess we'll know ... eventually.