All of these feelings and more are what I have been experiencing this week. I don't know if it's just hormones or if I'm letting everything get to me for no reason, or what. But I don't like feeling this way. I have no patience with my kids. Every little thing rubs me the wrong way and I snap. Then comes the guilt part. It's a vicious circle. I've written before about feeling lonely and my fading friendship and I think that's what has been bothering me the most. Lately I just feel like a big loser. Like nobody (except for my family, of course) likes me or cares about me. I think I will have to talk with my "fading friend" to get my feelings out in the open. That way we can either start trying to be friends again or I can just forget it and move on, rather than sitting here wondering what I did wrong and if she even notices or cares.
Friends or no friends, I think I need to get out and do things for myself, by myself. I am planning to register Miss M for some kind of class/activity this fall, but maybe I should also sign up for something myself! I'm not sure what yet, but I'm thinking it should be something totally new. Not only will I enjoy some "me" time, but maybe I'll find a new passion or even find a new friend!
I need to get myself out of this funk, and I think I've already started. Writing everything down like I just did and thinking of a possible solution is making me feel a whole lot better. Thanks, (non)Blog!