So, I've been super-busy with back-to-school hectic-ness and work has been a lot more demanding lately, too. I haven't had a chance to write in this space in a very long time. Actually, I have been considering giving it up altogether. But I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not much of a writer, but I like to come here to share little stories of my life. Things that are going on, things that I think about. I guess I'll just continue to write when I can for now anyway.
All this busyness has made me realize how much guilt I feel on a daily basis. Why do we, as women (parents? mothers?) always feel guily about something!?
I can't read blogs at work because I feel guilty about not doing actual work.
I can't blog at home because I feel guilty about not doing housework (or helping with homework, or making lunches, or giving baths, spending time with Hubby, or missing my favorite TV show!).
If I read a blog on the fly (i.e. on my phone) I feel guilty if I don't get the chance to go back and comment.
I don't want to go to French class tomorrow morning because I have a lot of deadlines at work and I'll feel guilty if I don't start working on them right away.
If I go to work and miss French class, I'll feel guilty because I've already missed a couple of classes and my work pays for them!
If I feel like being lazy but Hubby is doing laundry I feel guilty just sitting there so I usually drag my butt up to do something. Even if I've already cooked dinner/cleaned the kitchen/etc. (this is my own guilt. Hubby doesn't do or say anything to make me feel bad about it).
I am tired of being a baseball family. It's October and there are still at least two more full weekends of baseball. Meaning four games per weekend, with at least one day out of town. I wish that it will rain like crazy this weekend so it will be cancelled, but then I feel guilty because I know my son loves it and I want to support him.
I haven't visited my parents much lately. Mostly because of all this baseball. I feel guilty about that, too. I want to, but I just don't have the time lately. Soon I hope.
Those are just a few of the many reasons why I feel guilty lately. It sucks. I need to stop worrying and just do what I can. I know this, but yet it never seems to help at the time. But here I am, writing away while Miss M sleeps and Hubby and J are downstairs watching baseball. It's nice to sit in the quiet and just write. But there is still a tad bit of guilt as I sit here. Well, I guess I'll stop now and go do something. Like maybe just go to bed. I'm exhausted!